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Celebrity news and gossip from the man with the unpronounceable name, Myrddin Gwynedd

Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton's Facebook face-off

10:47AM Tuesday October 7, 2008

UPDATED: Frenemies Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are said to be embroiled in a bitter, foul-mouthed war of words over the internet.

So long BFF

The former galpals have come to blows (again) and are merrily trading insults on popular social networking website Facebook.

In the red corner...

Flame-haired and feisty galpal to Samantha Ronson, Lindsay Lohan has branded the heirhead a "b***h" and "pathetic", after the wonky-eyed one supposedly set up a group on the website called 'Firecrotch' - an altogether not-too-subtle reference to Lohan's carrot top.

In the bubbly blonde corner...

Hilton hit back with a suitable retort. She reportedly blamed Lohan for starting the war in the first place, after she set up a Facebook group called 'Paris Wets Herself'. *Cue flashback...folklore has it that Hilton allegedly once lost control of her bladder in a sauna and in the back of a taxi cab.

The former pals famously fell out over guy candy and Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos III, whom they both dated (not at the same time, obv).

Avid Facebookers are egged on to join either group, then sit back, relax, and watch as the starlets proceed to whip out their manicured talons and go in for the kill.

So the gloves are off. My money's on Lohan coming out tops. There's a certain feral fury about the lass. Hilton? Nah. She's a girly girl if ever there was one.

On that note...

You have to watch this legendary spandex catfight between Charlize Theron and Teri Hatcher in 1996 flick 2 Days in the Valley. The action kicks in at around the 1min 57sec mark.

Scientologists dial Winehouse, she answers

The Church of Scientology has reached out to shambolic soul singer Amy Winehouse to help her kick her drug addiction, a British tabloid claims.

Members of the celebrity wing of the church reportedly dialled up the wreck and offered their services to get her back on the straight and narrow.

Ah, together at last...

The Sunday Mirror claims that the church, which counts celebrities like Tiny Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley and Juliette Lewis amongst its members, wants Wino to join their Narconon drugs programme - which it claims has helped countless people kick the habit.

A snitch within Wino's inner-cirlce says: "She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back to Black album.

"They told her they wanted to help her beat drugs and could tailor-make a program so she wouldn’t have to go to a residential centre. She liked that idea because her husband Blake is out of prison soon and wouldn’t want to be away from him when he’s finally freed."

Best of all is the Church of Scientology's detox plan for the toxic troll. According to its website, Wino can look forward to a three-stage treatment plan:

1. Mucho vitamin cocktails. I highly recommend one called corpse reviver. Lipsmackingly delicious.

2. A series of saunas and a detox diet

Jeez, sounds like torture. Actually, now comes the truly hideous part...

3. Read through a pile of Scientology self-help books.

Quite frankly, I think I'd rather swallow razor blades. But hey, good on the Scientologists for showing willing. Those bastions of hope might just save her (alien) soul.

Minor snag though. Wino's reportedly still sucking up those naughty snowflakes and refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem.

Good luck guys.
 
Meanwhile...my spies tell me that singer Pink has turned to Scientology as she recovers after her split from hubby Carey Hart.

Plus, it was recently reported that Tiny Tom had handed rehabber Kirsten Dunst a Scientology manual to help her through her depression.

Oo-er missus.

How to murder a song
...the Jessica Simpson way. The wannabe star massacred her way through a rendition of Robbie Williams torch anthem Angels on US TV show Dancing with the Stars last week. Total carnage.

Oh, Naomi
Grumpy clothes horse Naomi Campbell is now blaming the 9/11 terrorist attacks for her arrest on a British Airways plane at London's Heathrow airport earlier this year.

Reports at the time said that Campbell had allegedly spat at a copper and let rip with a few naughty words during a row over her luggage.

Campbell says the atrocity has forever changed the way people approach air travel. Like, duh! Where's she been for the past seven years?

"I think after 9/11 you can't say anything any more on a plane," she tells Britain's Evening Standard newspaper.

Well, not anything...just foul-mouthed insults and the explosive B word.

"I've flown British Airways for years, since I was a child. The stewardesses will tell you that I would get on a plane, put on the blanket and go to sleep.

"I'll never fly that airline again, but nothing's really lost. I did get my luggage. I was reunited with my [Yves Saint Laurent] and everything was cool."

Blind bits
You guess the celebutards...

"This celebrity has been out of the spotlight for a little while. You are in for a real shock when you see her. Bones and veins popping out everywhere. She has always been slim, but she now looks completely emaciated. Stylists are hard at work crafting wardrobe and hair and makeup to mask the problem for public appearances. They even discussed having her wear a slimmed down version of a fat suit - to make her look as if she was of normal weight - but the celeb nixed it." BlindGossip

"Which celebrity couple of the moment are actually nothing more than vague acquaintances? The supposedly loved-up duo have only ever met each other in front of the cameras" Mirror

"This young heartthrob actor has many female admirers but he pays a high price for his good looks. He works out maniacally in the gym but can’t control his eating. He loves to eat in burger joints and in the fanciest restaurants so he’s cultivated a bad case of bulimia. But of course there are drawbacks. It’s destructive to his teeth and his breath isn’t exactly kissing sweet and his current relationship is suffering. But his body looks fantastic." BlindGossip

BBB

Fast gossip
The hot links. Look surprised.

Salma Hayek is not a lesbian: MRP

Britney’s dad is regulating: CS

Cynthia Nixon wants a change: CR

Jessica Simpson
gets mobbed by photogs: CP

Oh dear, who's been flashing their pants? Heat

Amy Winehouse and Mark Ronson are reuniting: RO

Madonna's hot date with A-Rod: FF

Russell Crowe shows off his cheeseburger gut: EW

Harry Potter's boy crush: CM

Angelina Jolie forced into therapy? PB

Cameron Diaz didn’t want to do 'hair gel' scene in 'Mary': ICYDK

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Comments

G

United Kingdom

2:02AM Wednesday
8 October 2008

Just thought I'd point out, that's Jessica Simpsons singing on the US version of Dancing with the Stars. not American Idol.



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